Holiday Season is here! Just a few weeks ago we were buying turkeys and making green bean casserole. And now we are in the full swing of December holidays. Whether we are traveling or staying home, this time of year is exceedingly energized.
There are decorations to display, arrangements to be made, gifts to buy and wrap, and food to make (and enjoy). There are family parties and work parties, team building events and neighborhood tastings, all to celebrate the year in review and the possibility of what is yet to come. It doesn’t matter if we are celebrating Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, New Year’s or none of the above. We can’t move much in any direction without the reminder that Holiday Season is here!
But some of us aren’t getting busy with holiday festivities. Now that the temperatures have dropped below freezing, some of us are getting busy trying to find shelter, warmth, food, or clean water. Some of us (and by “us” I am referring to our fellow humans) are barely holding on. We may be dealing with grief or loss, disease, a health crisis, devastation, loss of employment, or financial collapse. We may be trying to afford a gift for our child, even though we have no way to pay for it. Our Christmas wish may be simply to rest, be warm and have a hot meal.
I share these sentiments to remind myself and others: Whatever we think we “need” or trying to accomplish may seem important, impossible, and insurmountable. But if we step back and imagine we are anywhere else in the world, our challenges are luxuries at best. I am not saying they don’t exist. I am saying they pale in comparison to atrocious and unconscionable war crimes, disease, homelessness, and starvation.
Should we disengage from our holiday bustle to stand with our brothers and sisters who may be suffering around the corner or around the world? Nope! And I say that enthusiastically because as an empath the younger version of myself might have answered this question with a resounding “YES” but now I know better.
I now know that I don’t have to punish myself because I have been Blessed with abundance, heat, running water and any kind of food I can possibly dream up. Instead, I know I can bustle away, WHILST also including my response to the needs of strangers in my long list of “to-dos”. And this brings me to a post I shared a while back entitled “Creating Choices” linked HERE.
The “Creating Choices” blogpost was a description of how I took a situation that brought me angst and transformed it into one that helps others and also alleviates my need to be present to those less fortunate. And I am reminded of this post because I just recently compiled dozens of “treat bags” to share with people asking for help at intersections. This will make more sense if you have a chance to check out the actual post, but the essence of it was that there are ways to create choices on how to act, rather than just unconsciously reacting to things that make us uncomfortable.
Assembling “treat bags” has evolved into something Zach and I can do together, from buying items at Costco, to filling the ziplocks, storing them and looking for folks who need them. With Zach’s help we included the following items in each treat bag:
- Breakfast bar
- Nuts and dried fruit packet
- Burt’s Bees lip balm
- Beef jerky
- Hand warming packets
- Hard candy
- Napkin
- $5 for coffee or a bourbon shot
- Package of cookies
So, with treats in hand we are ready to sprinkle some holiday cheer around for those that may need it. Including generous activities in our holiday hustling and bustling provides a balance and appreciation for our own live’s which makes this time of year all the richer. At least that has always been my experience with giving.
So… “What’s the problem?”
Today’s blogpost is titled with a question because I wanted to cultivate a little curiosity. It has been my own inability to rest in the face of others in need that has fueled my path of seeking and also healing. Along this path I have been fortunate to connect with the ISHA Foundation and its founder, Sadhguru.
You may recall the reference to ISHA in a former blogpost about Inner Engineering. As I became familiar with this organization, I heard a quote that changed the way I looked at generosity. The statement from Sadhguru inspired and empowered me to start identifying small ways to contribute to the world around me without losing my empathic self in the process. The quote is this:
“If you don’t do what you can’t do, there is no problem.
If you do what you can do, that is not a problem either.
If you don’t do what you can do, what can we do with you?”
In other words, a problem arises only, when what we do is not in harmony with what we are capable of. If we all did what we were capable of, and nothing more, the world would be a different place. I took Sadhguru’s point, and it led to the tradition of creating these treat bags. I no longer feel “helpless” that I can’t do more. I do what I can. I don’t do what I cannot. And there is no problem.
Are you doing what you can? Do you add the extra couple of cents on to your McDonald’s order for the Ronald McDonald House? Do you buy the pre-packaged food donation bag at the grocery store when buying provisions for your own home? Do you hand $5 to someone asking for it on the corner? Do you donate your unused clothing so someone else can benefit? Do you contribute to food banks, homeless shelters and other community organizations to help those less fortunate?
I ask because the ACT of giving is far more powerful than the “amount” one contributes. There is a misunderstanding that in order to be generous or philanthropic we must ourselves, be overflowing with resources. But that is simply not true. Never mind that compared to most parts of the world we definitively ARE overflowing with resources. We may feel like we don’t have anything to give.
But we always have something to give. Try challenging yourself to this experiment over the next couple of weeks. If you haven’t been “doing what you can” it’s never too late to find out what “that” is, and how good it feels! Whether you commit to putting some change in the Salvation Army kiosk at the grocery store or shopping mall, or donating $10 to a local food bank, it doesn’t matter. Just ask yourself “Am I doing what I CAN do to help others in need?” And if the answer is no, clearly identify a way to flex this muscle that will help someone without hurting yourself.
Then just do it! Let it rip. See how your mood and your energy level are impacted when you “do what you can do” but stop feeling the burden for “not doing what you cannot do.” Repeat often. Then let us know how it goes. Finding the littlest of ways to “share” resources is the equivalent of saying thank you for what we have been blessed with.
If you’re not yet sold on checking this experiment out, try looking into the eyes of someone asking for money or help. It won’t be hard to find a fellow human who fits this description. Even if you give nothing, look directly into that person’s eyes and smile. Temporarily suspend all of your personal stories about how you made your own life what it is and others should do the same.
Release your justifications for why you “have” and others “have not.” Drop the judgment and just for a moment, let yourself be in the body of the other. Imagine how desperately you would want to be seen and helped if you were actually in their shoes. Then sit with that feeling and see if an idea or concept arises on a way you might be able to help. Open your heart. It won’t take long to think of something. A smile costs nothing.
Kindness is its own reward. There is no problem with choosing to be kind. There is no problem if we do what we can. There is only a problem if we don’t.
Happy Holidays to all and have a safe, restful and generous season. See you in 2024!