ABOUT LISA McFARLAND
From Heartbreak to Healing
“Little did I realize that as painful as my losses have been, I would evolve in positive ways.”
The Roots of Deep Knowing
When I was a toddler, my mom asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I replied, “. . . a race car driver, a speed boat driver, and an architect in Daddy’s office.”
“Don’t you want to be a mom?” she asked.
“That won’t help anybody, will it?” I responded. I did want to be a mom, but my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Then our daughter Alexis died at 13 months in 1997.
Our son Zach was born in 1999 with special needs, and our second son Emmanuel died at birth in 2002. Ironically, these unspeakably painful losses set me on a path of helping others in ways I could never have imagined or planned.
“. . . my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Then our daughter Alexis died at 13 months in 1997. Our son Zach was born in 1999 with special needs, and our second son Emmanuel died at birth in 2002.”
I Felt I Needed to Be a Good Sport
Before Alexis was born, I worked in management training for a major financial institution and left that job to care for her after she was born. When Alexis died, I went to nursing school and became a pediatric ICU nurse. When Zach was born, I transitioned from bedside nursing to consulting and earned my Legal Nurse Consultant certification which gave me the flexibility to work from home and caretake Zach’s growing needs.
After several years of working as a consulting expert on medical cases in litigation, I returned to the corporate world where I traded my entrepreneurial hat for a sales leadership role in the legal services industry until the summer of 2021.
Throughout these transitions, I aimed to be a good sport. I didn’t want to spend time licking my “broken mother’s heart” wounds, and there was no time for that anyway. Zach’s care team of a few dozen medical and caregiving professionals needed advocacy, training, management, staffing, and oversight. Zach’s Dad was earning his law degree in a four-year night program, and I worked weekend shifts.
I stayed very very busy.
“I didn’t want to spend time licking my ‘broken mother’s heart’ wounds, and there was no time for that anyway.”
If We Can’t Hear Our Thoughts Our Body Wakes Us Up
In 2010, I endured a major seizure that earned me a “Concussion Syndrome” diagnosis after multiple head injuries. I lost my driver’s license until they ruled out a brain tumor. A few years later I developed ulcerative colitis. My weight fluctuated drastically. I meandered in and out of different therapy modalities in an attempt to keep things moving, and did so well into my 40s.
Zach’s needs, my career, and the challenges of running a household kept me unconscious to the overwhelming aggregate grief and sadness I’d been unable to express or fully face. When the distractions no longer worked, I turned to an expansive host of other forms of anesthesia from food, to booze, to TV. This continued for two decades. Until I woke up.
“Zach’s needs, my career, and the challenges of running a household kept me unconscious to the overwhelming aggregate grief and sadness I’d been unable to express or fully face . . . Until I woke up.”
Forging a Path to Healing
It started with little nudges, like a small pebble hitting a glass window. When those pebbles didn’t elicit a response, they turned to bricks, and eventually the whole house came tumbling down.
I tried to ignore them but they gained momentum. Over time the bricks got bigger, louder, relentless. It seemed like night was the only time I was “available” to hear them. So I began sitting up and welcoming them.
“OK you have my attention. What is it that I need to hear?”
I started getting messages like:
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- “Stop wasting time.”
- “Who are you really?”
- “What are you doing?”
- “You don’t fit here.”
This led me to question my marriage, home, relationships, career, drove me to take full responsibility for my life’s circumstances, and awakened me to seek a path of healing.
“I am here to share my experiences and hear yours so we can help each other navigate grief and loss of every kind.”
Waking Up to Our True Nature
So what does this have to do with wanting to help people as a toddler? This early seed that showed up in my toddler heart brought me back to who I am, who I have always been—someone who wants to help others.
I’m not a grief expert but I am an expert at being human, at getting knocked down and back up again. At allowing my broken heart and discovering my full and tender heart. It wasn’t until I allowed this full emotional expression that I discovered this symbiotic condition is not only possible, but also necessary for healing to occur.
I am here to share my experiences and hear yours so we can help each other navigate grief and loss of every kind. Most importantly, I want you to know that who we are, including our feelings, are all welcomed and encouraged here. Not just parts of us. ALL of us.
Building a life around the holes in my heart has been a way forward. When I woke up and stopped trying to sleep through my days, I found a way to let it all be here. And my life is richer and more meaningful than I could have imagined. My focus now is about sharing our journeys so we can all feel less alone.
Thanks for stopping by. I hope hearing my story helps you with your own challenges. If you’d like to connect with a supportive community, CLICK HERE to sign up for the “Scars 2 Medals” Online Group. CLICK HERE to sign up for our “Rooted in Connection” Blog. CLICK HERE to listen to “The Healing Path” PODCAST.
With love and compassion,
EDUCATION
1992 – BS Psychology & Business, Ithaca College
1999 – ADN Nursing, Marymount University
2006 – Legal Nurse Consulting Certification, NACLNC
2021 – Life Coach Certification, Optimize.me
CAREER
Banc One Financial Services
1995 – 1996: Management Training Program
Shady Grove Adventist Hospital
1999 – 2006: Pediatric Intensive Care Nurse
McFarlandRN, LLC
2007 – 2013 Legal Nurse Consultant
Merrill / DTI / Epiq / Veritext
2013 – 2021: Mid-Atlantic Regional Sales Leader
LCM Connect, LLC
2021 – Current
Chief Connection Officer (CCO)
Author, Blogger, Life Coach, Podcaster, Inspirational Speaker