I wonder if the Stoics would have enjoyed Halloween. I doubt Marcus Aurelius or Epictetus would have dressed in a costume, and gone village to village knocking on doors with a plastic pumpkin container or pillowcase in hand, hoping to score some goodies.
Yet, when I think about our Halloween tradition of knocking on a stranger’s door, with an intention of being open to whether we get a trick, or a treat, I realize it is somewhat consistent with Stoicism in general. We usually hope for the treat, but we realize we are taking a risk when we approach that doorway and know a trick may also be forthcoming.
In this way, life is much like Halloween: We get up in the morning and put on a costume. It may be gym clothes for a workout, a tie for a presentation, or scrubs for the hospital. We may wear an apron and a name tag, or a true costume if we are in the entertainment business.
Whatever we do to earn a living, a lot of us suit up before leaving home (although this may be on the decline as our GIG economy expands.) We dress for the role we play. Then we step up to the proverbial door and ring the bell. Sometimes we get tricked. Sometimes we get treats. But we are sure that by the end of that day it will have been worth being out in the neighborhood giving it all we’ve got.
Stoicism is all about this philosophy: We prepare, control what we can and let the rest rip. We don’t attach ourselves to outcome (this is not the same as not having targets) but we see ourselves as capable to rise and fall with the tricks and treats, knowing what to do with each. When a door shuts, we go to the next house. When we get something extra special, we celebrate, and we say thank you.
In Stoicism, nothing is good, or bad since we know all of life is a current of energy that sometimes flows up, and sometimes crashes down like the ocean tides. No matter if we “like” our circumstance or not, we don’t get comfortable because we know change is on the way.
I never liked Halloween. As a kid I didn’t love wearing a costume. The exception was if it was a dance or gymnastics uniform I was re-purposing from my real (non-school) life, into something I could wear to school that day.
My lack of love for Halloween also comes from not having a son that eats or enjoys candy. (How could Zach be mine?!) The whole point of getting all those steps in around the neighborhood is to come home and binge eat the stash of prizes. Zach never cared about that and although despite his feeding tube he was “allowed” to have candy, he didn’t want it.
To make matters worse, Zach never understood why we would knock on someone’s door, and once they opened it and said hello, we left. It was tiring on his body (despite the stroller) confusing to his mind and too much work for me. Unfortunately, I never let myself off of the “Halloween hook” when I should have. I kept trying to get him into costume, get him through the school parades, and get to November (for holidays I DO love.)
If you have a son or daughter with Sensory Processing Disorder, do yourself a favor and trade Halloween in for movie night. Or if you just don’t get into the “spirit” allow yourself to turn out the lights and disable the doorbell. Do not aggravate yourselves unless you truly embody the Stoic tradition of complete impartiality, come what may.
And do not suffer FOMO (Fear of Missing Out.) Since we know change is always on the way, we are assured more holiday festivities next month, and the next, and the next!
Happy Halloween! Be safe! And be unattached to tricks or treats!