We have just returned from a lovely and extended trip to visit family and friends for Thanksgiving. Since Zach is such a great road warrior, we drove to Florida and stayed with multiple loved ones in different parts of the State, whom we hadn’t been able to see in a long time.
One of our oldest and dearest friends happens to also live in a home perfectly set up for Zach. It is one floor, includes a lanai screened in pool and has plenty of space for all of us. It is full of modern luxuries the least of which is not the way the faucet in the kitchen is activated by “motion detection” and turns on and off with the slightest waive of the hand.
I can understand why this would be a fun convenience for many people. But for us, preparing 6 syringes of a bolus (gastro-tube) feed for Zach, four times a day (24 syringes total for non-math majors) this fun convenience for some, was a total game changer for us. It meant wasting less water. It meant not having to turn the water on and off with each syringe fill. It was phenomenal!
As I acclimated to waiving the water on and off I joked with friends about how I was probably going to be waiving for my own sink to turn on and off long after I’d left the magic faucet. My study of habits, how they form and how we transfer behavior to situations out of context without realizing it, had me thinking how funny I might look, waiving at a “non-magic faucet” once we left the comfort of our friend’s home. I was right!
After a 12 hour drive back toward our home we stopped to sleep and re-group before completing the rest of the journey. No sooner had we checked into a hotel, than I found myself preparing Zacharys’ tube feed, waiving at the sink faucet which was NOT magic. Since I was in the small bathroom of the hotel room, I was also in front of a large mirror. So I was the one who saw myself doing this funny thing, and literally laughed out loud at how silly I looked. I even sent a note to our friend letting him know!
Although I’d only engaged with the magic faucet over a period of a few days, my brain had already adapted to this new habit. Yet the behavior itself no longer served me (except for giving me a good laugh.)
When we think about habits, which are essentially patterns of behavior we engage in unconsciously, it is often the case that we form a useful habit for a particular set of circumstances, but erroneously continue that habit long after it no longer benefits us. The illustration of the magic faucet is just one example of how well our brains adapt and go into auto mode.
This dynamic can be a powerful reminder to regularly check in with our habits. What behaviors are we unconsciously participating in that may have once served us, but no longer do? Do we react to situations based on old circumstances that no longer exist? Do we continue to waive in front of the sink even though it doesn’t get us what we are seeking?
If you want to run an experiment in your own life, try challenging your habits, large and small with a simple question: Does this habit get me what I want, or am I doing it long after the need for it existed? The cool part is that when we are able to identify behaviors that have lost their relevance, not only can we drop them, but we make room for new, more efficient behaviors when we do!