Success is something we mostly define for ourselves. I say “mostly” because the unexamined mind finds it nearly impossible to discern which of our goals actually have a deep, sincere origin, and which of our internalized goals we have adopted as a result of our culture.
Often these definitions involve a particular socio economic status, material possessions, stature and promotion. If we do enough, earn enough, have the right job title we may feel we are successful, or at least moving in that direction.
But I recently heard Oprah’s definition of success on her Podcast, and it resonated so deeply and instantly that I doubt I will ever use any other litmus test to measure my own. She was hosting a session with Martha Beck, a Harvard trained sociologist who has among other things, written several best selling books. Her latest, entitled The Way of Integrity, Finding The Path To Your True Self was the topic of their conversation.
Oprah and Martha (if I may be so bold as to refer to them by their first names, as if we were close friends) were discussing the incredible experience of unwinding our neuro-physiology during the pandemic. Although this was a tragic period of many lives lost and illness and suffering, for some it was alternatively just a much needed break from the whirlwind of a world we all hustle through day in and day out.
Martha made reference to her own improved health, once she slowed down and started resting. That led into a specific conclusion that rest and health are connected. This is, of course not rocket science or news, but few people actually make the connection in such a way that leads to leading restful lives. It’s like a thing we know, out there, that we will get to when things “slow down”… at some future time.
That’s when Oprah’s words changed me (yet again!) She said (paraphrasing) “I am starting to think that the true measure of success lies in our ability to sleep until we are rested and go to bed when we are tired.” Now THAT, is a revolutionary way to measure success! Imagine if we didn’t feel rushed and restless with our minds constantly somewhere that our bodies are not. Imagine never having to force ourselves out of bed, into the shower, into a meeting, into the car…
While I recognize that there are other factors to consider when defining “success” for ourselves (like how others feel when they are with us, how we can serve the world, what unique gifts are we called to develop and share) I feel confident that if and when I get to a place that I can rest when I am tired, and sleep until I am rested, I will surely have “made it” to be successful in what matters most!