It’s been over a year since our lives changed with the pandemic of COVID-19 rocking our world. Day after day, month after month, and here we are more than a year later.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but my habits and self care sure slipped up when my foundation of “if this, then that” algorithms I have built to keep Zach, me, my loved ones and professional team afloat, crumbled. Without making this a “Confession” I will say that COVID-19 not only meant the virus to me, but the 19 or so pounds I put on slowly but surely as the pandemic continued.
I tried a lot of strategies not to gain weight, but in the end an increase in my body size was a sure sign that my life was wildly out of balance. Though still getting up early and exercising daily, my efforts were not sufficiently commensurate with the onslaught of decreased movement throughout the day, late night binges (why do TV and food always seem to go together?) and eating some things that I normally have a “do not enter” (this body) sign for.
In addition to food, I reached for amelioration of my stress level and lack of control (and sleep) in other forms. For example, I enrolled in a “Conscious Manifestation” course with Eckhart Tolle, a Life Coach Certification 300 day course through Optimize.me, and multiple other “on line study” commitments to self-development. Yet I found myself treading water with chocolate and red wine. By Fall of 2020, I was doing so in a bigger body and no clothes that fit.
One of the most powerful changes I have experienced as a result of my quest for inner peace (not just around COVID but life and loss in general) is the recognition of my own individual tendency to be my harshest, most insidious critic. We all seem to accept this role as a result of our conditioning (another chat altogether.)
Over the years I have learned that data is data. I think it was Shakespeare who said something like “There is nothing either good or bad, thinking makes it so.” The energy we put in to judging a thing, is nothing but a distraction from objectively evaluating the situation and creating and executing a plan for what happens next. We do this at work, while driving, when interacting with others, yet when it comes to self-realization, it can be hard to keep our subjective inner saboteur at bay.
Which brings me to work pants. With Zoom calls and remote work, I got a little too comfortable with donning shorts and other non-dry cleaned garments for the business day. At some point I could not escape the reality that my work pants no longer fit. Initially I didn’t care, since there was no end of COVID in sight. I was not about to flex self discipline and give up the few choices of anesthetic still available. But when we reached 2021, I got to work.
I installed a punching bag in my garage. I bought a new workout machine and set it up in front of my desk, to increase my activity throughout the day. I stopped eating (and drinking) sugar. I implemented a nutritional sunset (no eating within 4 hours of bedtime). These are just a few of the changes I made, in anticipation of the world opening back up again and wanting to show up with some resemblance of my pre-pandemic self.
And yesterday, when inspired to put my (work) “pants” back on, they fit. Comfortably. As they did before March 2020. While we can all agree that COVID has brought tragedy to our loved ones, despair and yes, death, I think we can also note the ways we may have benefited from a slower-paced world. Not commuting three hours a day, or going to social gatherings that do not feed (our souls) us have been, let’s face it, a relief.
But let’s not get too cozy with not leaving the house, commuting, socializing and going out for costly but divine meals prepared by someone else. If you haven’t already done so, its time to put your work pants back on and begin to re-emerge post pandemic.
Don’t judge yourself, or get in your own way, by shaming the choices you made or didn’t, in the way of self-care over the last 13 months. Just let all that go and show up today. Not as you were “before” COVID, but the new and improved version of the ”Survivor” you. If you are carrying extra weight, it is the outward symptom of imbalance that has already happened (think hangover from the night before, its in the past but you may have a lingering headache.)
Let’s get back in balance, and back into our clothes, so we can give ourselves and each other all we’ve got.