One of the many drawbacks to having no time to one’s self, is that when there is a window of time for spontaneous activity, or recreation even, one may not have any idea what to do with it. When all of our time is a promise to someone or something other than ourselves, it can be challenging to know what to do when that little window of freedom cracks open.
This happened to me several years ago. It was a hot summer evening and I had no where to be, and no one depending on me for anything. I’d worked all day and was looking for something non-work related to do. I decided to go to the movies.
This was so decadent! I found the movie Overcomer playing at a local mall and I had just a few minutes to get settled before it started. I took my time getting popcorn and a soda, then made my way to the perfect seat. The movie itself was just fine and entertained me without offending too many of my senses.
At some point toward the end of the film I started to reach for my keys. I remembered putting them under the seat next to me where I would easily locate them in the dark, in preparation to exit the theatre once the movie ended.
When I reached for them they were not there. It was pitch dark, so I was sure with some light I would see them as soon as I could see. As I looked around, I realized there were only a few others in the theatre and they were all closer to the screen than I was.
So when the stress of not having my keys in my hand started to take me over I went to the floor, with my phone light turned on thinking I would spot them right away. Not so. I shone the light around the entire area where I was sitting and still didn’t see them.
Straight panic set in. I forgot I was even at a movie. I jumped right into my own version of a nightmare as I reminded myself that Zach’s Dad was out of town on business, that the only spare car key was at his house, that Zach needed to be picked up later and I had to be there on time. I thought about the cost of getting towed, and getting a locksmith.
What was I thinking? Really? A movie on a Wednesday night? Who does that anyway? What a bad idea. I should never have thought I could be one of those people who could just go to the movies without a care in the world. Ahhhhh the narratives that run our minds when we let them…
I stood up with my small purse and phone in hand, no keys, and went to see if someone turned them in. I remembered that I’d gone to the ladie’s room before getting snacks. Ah-Ha! I bet I left them hanging on the hook on the lavatory stall door.
Nope.
I then went to the popcorn counter and hopefully asked if I’d left them on the counter.
Nope.
I then found the theatre manager to ask if they were in the “lost and found” box.
Nope.
I returned to the theatre and sat in a panic. I’d missed several minutes of the movie, which meant nothing to me now. I looked at the time and calculated how much of it I had, before I had to pick up Zach. I asked myself “Is this really happening?”
A couple minutes passed as I was unexpectedly pulled back into the story line of the movie. As the title “Overcomer” suggests, it was an inspirational plot and was just starting to come together. I was rooting for the young female runner before I forgot about her, and re-remembered my predicament. Crap. I had no keys, and no way home.
I left the theatre again and retraced my steps. “Keys can’t just disappear” I thought. They literally can’t jump out of thin air. I talked with a few more employees who tried to help me feel less alone, but the place was massive. There was nothing they could do.
One last trip to the ladies room. That was the only place I’d been, besides the food counter and my seat. I went back into that stall, and again found nothing. I washed my hands profusely having had them all over the floor under my seat. I grabbed a paper towel, dried them and dropped it in the circular waste opening to the left of the sink, in the counter.
As disgusting as I realize this was, a lightbulb went off. Did I throw my keys away? I looked under the opening and found a garbage bin. I pulled it out and started rummaging. Before long, the mystery was solved and my keys were back in my hand.
I washed up yet again, them, and me and returned to my seat for the last time. The movie was just about over, and as the credits started to roll I was overwhelmed with gratitude that all was well. All the heinous stories I’d fabricated about how the rest of the evening would go, were no longer in play. There would be no tow truck, no huge expenses, no late night and no needed to call in favors for picking up Zach.
As the movie theme song “Overcomer” played and the lights came on, I was relieved, comforted, and almost proud at the steadfast, calm and focused approach I’d taken to dealing with this potential crisis.
Next time you are hit with a seemingly insurmountable situation, try to let it unfold without losing your mind. I could have cried, screamed, thrown things, and told myself what a bad person I was. (I considered all of that). I could have told myself I wasn’t worthy of a movie on a Wednesday. I could have been a victim.
If you are tempted to be one, its ok. No one will judge you. But know that anything done in the name of resisting what is, will only serve to delay your own overcoming. To the extent possible, try getting still, letting some time pass, and allowing the next best action to come to your brilliant, innate ability to “overcome” whatever is real at that moment.