I do not wear a lot of jewelry. But have a few pieces that are special to me. I still wear the small, gold cross gifted to me by my parents on my 18th birthday. I love pearls (mostly their origin, and how they start from an irritant and become more large, symmetrical and beautiful as they are roughed around by tumultuous waves.)
I have a few different types of pearls, and especially enjoy the strand created for me by my God Mother as I grew up. Each January I would mail my “add a pearl” chain to her home in Cape Cod. She would get it to her jeweler, and add a pearl for my birthday. Eventually a delicate yet durable necklace was formed. My God Mother would later remark that it would have been much easier to just buy me a string of pearls. But I love the incremental growth of the gift which expanded with me through my childhood.
Occasionally, when I go to put on a necklace or a bracelet I notice the chain (s) to be tangled. I keep them in a stained glass tray, along with earrings and a couple of rings also. The pieces of jewelry can get wound up into a ball of knots if I am not careful.
Fast forward, to a friend and I discussing the practice of meditation recently. As I have developed my own practice over the last 4 years or so, I was trying to illustrate that the benefits of meditation are not necessarily enjoyed during the practice itself. It is more like a setting a tone, of putting space where there is tension. Allowing rather than pushing, or pulling or applying more stress.
Then I remembered my tangled up jewelry and said: “It’s like when your necklaces get tangled up in your jewelry box, the links can get intertwined and tight. It’s hard to see how to break them loose. So you try to inject space between the links, to loosen the tension.”
Tugging and pulling on the chain links only strengthen the knot. Apply too much force, and eventually one or more of the links will break completely. Alternatively, placing the knotted chains on an open counter top, and slowly spreading the tangles over the smooth surface, a little here and there, and soon, the tangle breaks free.
It may be a stretch to connect this illustration to the practice of meditation. But to me it makes perfect sense. My experience in carving out time for a quiet mind early each morning, better prepares me for the knots of the day. Instead of reacting to tension with the tendency to apply more pressure to links, to tighten and even pull links until they break, is replaced by the application of space to the knots.
Meditation benefits are are not big, huge, loud results like getting on and off an amusement park ride (”Wow! That was crazy fast and fun!”). Instead the benefits show up as subtle, spacious, bits of consciousness. They manifest as whispering pauses, reminding us who we are and giving us a chance to choose our response to a given situation, instead of reacting on auto pilot.
If you are interested in building a meditation practice, there are endless resources to do so. The Calm app is a great place to start, with its guided meditations, soothing music and bedtime stories. But if you don’t feel inclined to check something like that out, try sitting quietly for just sixty seconds before starting your day (set your phone or watch timer) for the next thirty days and see if you catch yourself loosening a knot instead of making it stronger.
If you are not so inspired, then just look out for the next time you are faced with a complicated dynamic. Try drawing on this metaphor and see if you can inject space into the tension and choose your response intentionally. Experiencing this shift even once, may be enough to raise your interest in the practice of sitting still.