“FLOW” is a term coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his best selling book with the same name. It means something like getting in our own groove.
We have all heard terms like “Follow your bliss” (thank you Joseph Campbell) and “When you do what you love the Universe will put the people in your life that will open doors.” Theoretically, we have an understanding that doing the things that speak most deeply to us, move us and inspire us is something like living as ourselves. And the expectation is that if we act on our passion, the rest will fall into place.
There may be many grandiose examples of pioneers and entrepreneurs who have followed this path. But I thought of a small one that really drove the point home for me. Maybe it will for you too.
Our son Zach has an obsession with beads. As a toddler he always had a matchbox car in one of his hands. The car clench, evolved into the marble clench and now at 22 to the bead clench. At any given time, during wake times, sleep, bike riding and watching his favorite YouTube videos, Zach holds a minimum of one bead the size of a pin head in his palm. I think it has something to do with pressure point relief, but regardless of the payoff for Zach, the rest of us are in the “Bead Management” business.
When we go out, we have back ups, and back ups for the back ups, and so do the people who know Zach and who host our travels when we go socializing and visiting. Our friends and family members are known to create entire kitchen drawers just for Zach’s beads and other treasures. We have conversations about “supplies” and making sure there are the “right” beads around “in case of emergency.” Zach thinks nothing of waking the nearest person up in the middle of the night, just to find a bead in his bedding that he dropped while sleeping.
You may be wondering what this has to do with getting into our own groove, AKA “FLOW” so here it is: One summer while swimming at a large community pool, we were on the stone pool deck gathering our belongings to leave. Zach dropped his bead and reacted in his usual “MY OXYGEN HAS BEEN CUT OFF!” panicked way.
Before long, we had an array of helpers on hands and knees looking for a needle in a haystack. The bead Zach dropped was tiny, and we were searching on same color concrete. Zach had no care for how many people were engaged, or what their motivations were for helping. There could have been one person helping us to look, or 100 people. Zach was in his groove, and would not rest until the bead was located and back in his grasp.
The fun part of this was observing the reaction of others as Zach was clearly panicked. Words cannot convey the sense of urgency that he displays, when a bead is missing. But the reaction was outstanding. Patrons from toddler through retirement ages were all canvassing the massive pool deck, doing anything they could to help bring peace to our young man.
And at last, the bead was found! A miracle without a doubt!
But the point, taking this conversation back to getting into FLOW, is that when we are truly acting from our passion, and conviction, we don’t need to recruit help. We don’t need to justify, rationalize or inspire others to join in the movement. Our actions speak louder than words, and when the cause is a worthy one, that resonates with others, the right people will jump in with their own action to help advance the cause.
Just ask Zach. He never tried to motivate others to help his search. He never had to share his mission statement or work to inspire anyone to help. He simply did what was natural for him which was to act with such conviction, such dedication and passion that he was unaware of who, or how many others joined in the movement. He followed his Bliss, he was in FLOW, and that was all he needed to do to get the job done, with the help of many people who were, until that moment of panic, strangers to him.
Follow your Bliss. Do what you know to do. When we act from our hearts we don’t need to sell anyone on anything. We simply play our heart’s song and when others share that song, they act out of their own mandate, and selflessly so. We don’t need to control, manipulate or convince anyone of anything. We are in FLOW. We are in our own groove. And once we feel the magic of this dynamic, we see no need to ever try to “make” anything happen again.