Recently, I was listening to a middle aged man talk about what it was like to lose his older brother unexpectedly. After trying to describe the pain and shock (impossible goals), the gentleman moved toward sharing some of the things he misses about his brother since his death in 2020.
One such memory included a simple game of catch. The brothers apparently loved to play football together. The grieving brother shared, “He never threw the ball to me, but always ahead of me so I had to run for it.” He said how frustrating it was, to always have to run. Finally he asked is brother why he didn’t throw it directly to him, but always just out of reach.
His deceased brother’s reply had been “Because I am throwing it where you want to go, not where you are.”
Great metaphor. Reminded me of something similar I’d heard early on in my career: “Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.” Or something like that.
The concepts are the same. There is an expectancy that happens when we are looking out for change. When we set our mind’s eye on something, and start acting “As If” it is already our reality, our outer worlds seem to conform to match our first imagined reality.
There is robust content on the “As If” principle, which captures this dynamic. (Search for “As If Principle” for more.). Pretty powerful stuff.
For now, I will just say that whether we are running toward a football, aiming for a promotion or simply hoping to hear from an old friend, there is momentum in expectancy. What we focus on expands. This is not news, just a valuable piece of wisdom that gets passed down through different cultures and generations in varying metaphors.
The grieving gentleman, and his late brother were not academics, nor were they climbing a corporate ladder. Yet they knew this truth. Without realizing it, George Floyd shared this wisdom of the ages, with his younger brother in the sports language they shared.
We don’t have to be perfect to impact those around us. We just need to share what we know.