Speaking of doing the right thing (whether someone is looking or not) I am reminded of a story I overheard as a youngster. My parents were talking to some friends. It was one of those conversations that as a child I was not part of but was listening to and taking in from the periphery.
The story as I recall it, was about some family friends and their son who had been shoplifting. The child went into a store with a known amount of money, and when the father and son returned home, Dad realized his son had more merchandise than he could have paid for with the funds he had.
When confronted, the boy admitted to his father that he’d stolen something. They talked it through and his father told him they needed to go back to the store, return the stolen item and apologize. Off they went.
Upon store arrival, the father approached the sales counter, son by his side, and instructed the young offender to confess what he’d done, and place the item on the counter. Petrified, he complied.
Up until this point, this parent was intent on doing the “right” thing. He wanted his son to be accountable for his actions and learn a lesson about taking things without paying for them (which these days can have a much different consequence for youngsters.). But 4 decades ago, this was thought to be the “right” way to handle it.
The clerk at the store shocked both the boy and his father, when she said “We can’t take back any merchandise without a receipt.”
“Right, I get it,” the boys father responded, “But understand my boy stole this and we are bringing it back.”
The clerk was adamant, re-stating the store policy “No receipt, no return.”
I am not sure what happened next, whether they ended up paying for whatever it was, then donating it, maybe taking funds from the boy’s “allowance.” But the outcome is irrelevant. The lesson I see, goes back to taking our best shot and detaching from what happens next (see “When we get fooled” parts 1 & 2 posted a few weeks ago.).
We can have the best intentions to do the “right” thing, but our actions don’t always result in the desired outcome. The more accepting we are of our individual roles, and detached from things we can’t control, the smoother life seems to flow.
And all was not lost. Although curious about shoplifting myself I still recall this story from several decades ago. It may not have completely prevented me from making some “bad” decisions as a young person. But certainly it made enough of an impression that I knew, I never wanted to end up in THAT situation.
Connecting this to yesterday’s post, yes we usually know right from wrong and hopefully that deep sense, guides our decision making. But it is also true that all we can do is our part, not someone else’s. If doing the “right” thing seems to go sideways, do the next best thing and move on.