It’s the expression on my son’s face when I tuck him into bed, and tell him I will be back in a few minutes and he believes me. When I return, his eyes are closed but Faith is still there. Solid. Unchanged. Unmoved.

I turn 51 tomorrow. The images from Wednesday’s Capitol riots are relentless. And gut wrenching. I try not to allow them to make an imprint on my brain. But even hearing the words “The video we are about to show maybe upsetting as it shows a Capitol Police Officer getting crushed” still paint a picture of horror. I turn it off quickly but the images come.

The disturbing and unconscionable images that came to mind could have plagued me as I went into the room I am sharing with my son Zach this weekend, to go to sleep. Instead, my eyes were met by the most peaceful and Divine expression on Zach’s face.

We are visiting friends in Florida, and after saying Bedtime Prayers Zach asked me to stay behind when the others left the room.

Zach: “Mom stay?” Zach is 85 pounds, 21 years old and gtube dependent, among other things.

Me: “I will come back in 5 minutes, okay?”

Zach: “Okay.”

Me: ”Should I leave the light on?”

Zach: “Light on.”

Zach’s eyes were wide but quiet. He gazed at me while I gave him a kiss and said “I’ll be back in five minutes.”

Nearly 10 minutes later and ready for bed I returned to Zach’s room, to climb into the empty twin bed perpendicular to his. When I entered the room, the light was still on, Zach was asleep, and the only that had changed was his eyes were now closed.

Zach’s expression was exactly the same as when I’d kissed him goodnight. It was pure, confident, and unwavering.

“That is what Faith looks like” I thought to myself. And that is the feeling I took to my slumber, instead of the images that I’d escaped from a few minutes earlier.

I don’t know what my next year of life will hold, and although fear could easily dominate my mind, I choose Faith. I am full of Faith that Love will prevail. I am grateful be be on this Journey and will contribute all I can to be part of making my belief true.

Gratitude + Faith is a recipe for Hope. The belief that the future will be better than the present, or the past.

When I forget what Faith feels like, I now know what it looks like. I need only glance back in my mind’s eye to Zach’s fully trusting facial expression to feel the security of a Faithful heart.


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