I love tipping! I literally feel like it is almost a hobby of mine. In addition to sharing resources with those who are just asking for it (see other posts on generosity) I find it so fun to over tip anyone in the service industry who is obviously working hard and deserves a pick me up.
I recall traveling with some friends many years ago. We continuously broke bread together during the course of the trip and would routinely just split the check with the other couple. When it came time for adding the tip, we didn’t really agree on the amount. We tried to stay consistent, but after a while we just started doing our own thing. My own thing, was to be extremely generous.
This one factor became a barrier to my desire to travel with certain folks, because it just seemed like we were coming at these opportunities from different places. They thought I over tipped. I thought they under tipped. When you have a lot of meals out with another person this can become an issue.
Ultimately, I guess I just see tipping as a way to boost someone’s day who is already working hard. Once in Nashville, a few years back I had a fantastic lunch at the “Jason Andean” steakhouse on Broadway. I was there for work, but wasn’t yet into the part of the trip that I actually had to work. So a friend and I went out.
I still remember what I ate: A steak, with a salad, baked potato and two glasses of red wine. The person I broke bread with was one of my favorites in the world, so the company was even better than the food. As I often do, I was thinking about how incredibly lucky I was to be in that particular spot, on that particular day, with this friend, and a perfect meal.
In addition, the server was about the brightest young man with the best smile I’d seen in ages (other than Zachary of course!) He was so young and hopeful, he was new to the service industry (which he shared with us) but was doing a great job and was a pleasure to interact with. I try to tip in cash whenever possible, so when I went to my wallet I had a choice about what I would leave for our new young friend.
When my eyes were met with $20 and $10 dollar bills in my wallet, I started doing some “back of the napkin math” and wanted to make an impact, one that would encourage this young person out in the world. Without much time the $50 bill I carried for just such an occasion jumped out at me. It was more like a 50% tip than anything, but it felt fantastic to share it. I handed it to him as I signed for the lunch tab and his eyes and smile grew even wider than they had before. What a pleasure for all of us!
Tipping is optional. Perhaps it should be a reflection of the level of service we receive at a given establishment, as we are taught to do. That makes sense. But for me, it is also a way of declaring abundance over a particular situation. I like to employ generosity as a way to bring good fortune, good energy and deep gratitude to a meal, a concert, a cab ride, or any experience where someone else is in service to me, my family, and my friends. I don’t do it for them, I do it for me, for good karma, and as a way to acknowledge and say thank you for how very Blessed I am.
And by the way, if the service sucks, if the person has an especially negative attitude or even ignores us, I take that as a cue to overtip also, with the assumption that the person serving needs that money more than I do.
I understand why people have said I tip too much. But to me, there is no such thing. As I often say, it doesn’t make anyone rich, and it doesn’t make me poor. It just sprinkles some good fairy dust around the joint and I always hope some of it lands on me.
If you are so inspired, keep a little extra cash in your wallet for just this purpose. Look for someone to “over tip” and see how much fun it can be to brighten up someone else’s day. Then share in the comments so we can all enjoy hearing about your exprience!