In 1978, I bought my grandfather, affectionately known to me for his entire life as “Da” a smooth, decorative stone that had these six words written on them. I gave it to him that Christmas, when I was eight years old. Years later, after his passing, it was returned to me and it sits on my kitchen counter where I see it each day.
I am often amazed at the wisdom in this statement. It’s actually more of a mantra (tool of the mind) and a spiritual practice. It is also the theme of 12 step programs including AA. Admittedly, I had no real concept of what it meant when I was eight, or why I thought Da would like it.
But now, over four decades later I find it as useful as ever. It is the one directive that always applies. No starting over. No regrets or algorithmic planning. Just living today, one little decision after the next, without the gripping and potentially paralyzing mind gymnastics that come with being attached to the outcomes of our decisions.
Living one day at a time to me, is the freedom to continually start fresh. As new information is received, so is it integrated and processed to drive the next decision, action or creative project.
My Da was a simple man. He worked hard, drove bus for many years and took care of his family. He had a great sense of humor and by all accounts, had a “good” life. He may not have gone from rags to riches, won a Nobel Peace Prize, or become the first college graduate in his family. But he was a good man who knew how to enjoy the little things without getting carried away into the future fantasies of what happens next.
Living one day at a time is a prescription for true freedom. No tethers to the past or the future, just showing up today. Since morning seems to potentially be a time to gather up all our guilt and regret from the previous day, and turn into a session of “planning” all the ways we will be better people tomorrow, I find the “Live one day at a time” mantra a gentle reminder to cut the bullshit of self attack and shaming.
The reminder is to stop missing what’s here by living in another time zone (past or future) and simply be in the now. It takes practice to return to the current moment, and the current day but the freedom that comes with being at peace with all of it, is well worth the training to make that, my daily goal, instead of righting all the perceived “wrongs” of what I did, or didn’t do yesterday.
This quote from Antonio Machado (that I first heard on the Calm App from Jeff Warren) is another powerful way to capture the spirit of living one day at a time:
“Wanderer, your footsteps are the road, and nothing more; wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking.”