What is the difference between “life coaching” and “psychotherapy?” I have had the opportunity to turn to both resources at different times and currently am enjoying the benefits (and challenges) of both.
Coaching: I have read and heard many times that “everyone needs a coach.” If we look at individuals performing at the highest levels of their fields as athletes, musicians or CEOs we always find a coach somewhere who’s job it is to maximize the gifts, talents and capacities of that person.
In coaching sessions, we talk goals, analyses, strategies and progress. Working with a coach is no trip down memory lane, its about deciding what we want, and having a trusted advisor guide us toward implementing the steps to get “there.”
Psychotherapy: Alternatively, therapy IS a trip down memory lane. For those of us who can stomach it, we turn the lights on in our past to de-bunk some of the mysteries around how we got “here” and what drives our behavior. Therapy is about going back to times and places we may have (slept, ate, drank, gambled, cheated or binge watched Netflix) lived through but were not present. Anesthesia is magic, until it isn’t. When we wake up, having a professional help us navigate the past helps us process it, and leave it there.
I recently resumed psycho therapy in an effort to fully process especially profound loss and trauma, that I survived but didn’t fully experience. My therapist constantly encourages me to only share what is comfortable. My response to that is, I will get out of this what I put into it, there is no point in bullshitting or leaving anything out (excruciating as that may be.)
I share this because my goal in therapy is to deep dive into my past with someone I trust, and who’s only interest is in my experience. As an empath I often default to seeing things through the lenses of others, but rarely have the opportunity to “tell my story” as I lived it, not through the experiences of others.
Re-living tragedy is not so fun. But the work of processing the past loosens the anchors that hold me down in the present and future. My therapist gives me a safe path into history, and my life coach helps me build tools and fully engage in the present and create the future.
Of course the two can overlap. A skilled professional in either field can intertwine the past, present and future in a collaborative and supportive process, but I find it helpful to work with both.
Paraphrasing a quote I once heard “Its never too late to turn the lights on, just don’t turn them off once you see what’s there.” Therapy is about turning the lights on, noticing what’s there, and processing it. Coaching is about the empowerment and tectonic shifts that result from the courage and commitment it takes to flip that switch and illuminate the present and future.
I am grateful for my coach of 10+ years and my on-and-off therapist of a few years. The process of emancipation from the past takes courage, but lights up the future! If you are fortunate enough to have the resources (time, money, courage) to engage with either a coach or a therapist, you are taking a great step toward providing self care that many of us don’t begin to think about as we are so often taking care of everyone BUT ourselves.