Author Stephen Covey shared his number one habit, in his well known best seller “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” in 1989. What’s the number one practice of highly effective people? “Be Pro-Active.” Let’s try applying this habit to our core value identification process. Once we have practiced getting present and seeing where we act consistently with our values, and/or where the inconsistencies creep in, we can begin using this concept as fuel to make intentional decisions. Here’s an example:
“I have a dilemma: I am pulled to do X, but I want to do Y, and someone else told me to do Z. What should I do?” Insert your new habit of being PRO-ACTIVE and ask yourself “Which one of my options most strongly comports with my core value, the simple one I previously named as most important?“
The beauty here is NOT that you ALWAYS choose the core value option. Certainly we want to do that, but it may not be realistic due to specific circumstances at that time. The internal power comes from the awareness that you actually HAVE a choice, and that should you choose something other than acting consistently with your core value, you know your reasons. You didn’t simply react.
When you consciously make your choice and move on, it doesn’t haunt or taunt you later. It doesn’t wake up in the night “WHY did I do that?” You become more confident (self-trusting) over time, and no longer feel as though life is happening “to you” but “with you.” You take an active role in what happens next rather than constantly pivoting unconsciously. This prevents the frustration and disappointment that is inevitable when we don’t make a pro-active choice but instead do what is easiest, least resistant or most popular.
At least that has been my experience since I started experimenting with these ideas. Empower your next decision with a litmus test: “Which one of these options is most consistent with who I am?” As you start incorporating that into your decision making process, you may just find your list of ”dilemmas” getting smaller and smaller over time.