There are few areas in our lives where we can confidently categorize something as absolute. Whether talking about energy (I gave it 100%) or confidence (I am 100% sure) or anything quantifiable, it is a rare instance that “100%” truly applies.
A friend and colleague of mine who is no stranger to tragic loss has a saying I love to call on when I am supporting myself through something difficult. “I’ve survived 100% of my worst days, I will make it through this one.” is the mantra that comes to mind.
Yesterday was a mixed blessing. Experiencing the full gamut of miracle and loss at the same time doesn’t come easy. Allowing feelings to flow, without judgment or action is a skill that requires practice. I have flexed my “presence” muscles like a daily gym workout for decades. Yet it is still a choice. It doesn’t happen automatically. I have to remind myself that “I have what I need, I know what to do” and that “This too shall pass.” (Some other favorites of mine.)
When the challenges come, and I question the certainty of my ability to sustain the holding of miracle and tragedy in the same heart beat, I can get overwhelmed. “Here I am again. How did I get here again? How can my heart be broken open and in so much agony that I wouldn’t mind if it stopped beating? Maybe it would be a relief…” and on and on.
Then I am reminded of my friend, and I hear her Southern accent, and her contagious, glowing smile say:
“I’ve survived 100% of my worst days, I will make it through this one” and hope is restored. Maybe not in one instant, but in the moments that follow. I chuckle when I hear her voice and know that she has overcome extreme tragedy, and yet carries on. I am inspired, comforted, and not ambivalent about repeating her mantra as if it were my own.
Because its true. I am still here. I have survived all of my worst days. When pain and anger and loss try to take over navigation of my life, I look to my past ability to rise above, and rely on the examples of others, to pause and remind myself of all the proof that I can make it through this day too. No matter how dark it gets. And it can get dark.
I am grateful for mantras that redirect the downward spiral of grief and despair when I find myself on that elevator that says “Going Down.” I may not feel better as quickly as I can say them, but soon enough I am secure and stable again, pressing the up buttons that I know can help, like borrowing a mantra from an admired grief survivor, and one incredible woman. She, as we, are all… proof positive that we can maintain our unbroken streak: Surviving 100% of our worst days.
Feel free to borrow these too, if you are so inspired. We may not see ourselves as 100% successful, but that is the track record we have earned.